Purposefully Being Private

Restricted movement declared for two weeks. 

God speaks to us in all circumstances

A Year Later

How interesting that a year later, after posting about rejection and acceptance, I am now in this place where I have to deal with it again. 

This time it is because of doing what I thought was right. And finding out later how it turns out not the way I would have envisaged or liked. Trust seems to be lost, the relationship is in danger of being entirely broken. There is a strong sense of being rejected, of not good enough, of having made wrong decisions which need to be paid for. 

It is tempting to make apologies without meaning them. It is a self-preservation instinct to give reasons without being sorry for the betrayal of trust or the feelings hurt. It is always on the tip of the tongue to blame someone else. After all, I am a victim too, I reason to myself. I am only doing what I am supposed to do. 

And yet, I know now, that this is not good enough. Feelings of being wronged cant be unchanged. Facts dont dictate feelings. Logic doesnt rule sentiment. 

So after apologising,
all I can do is to pray, 

and wait

And trust that ALL things will work out for good, for those who love You, and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.") And that You always do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can think or imagine. 

The Dawn Awakening Prayer

We are in the midst of 40 days of prayer and fasting.

On top of that, we are also doing a 21 day early morning prayer. Young and old alike, we gather from 5.30am and pray. The children also come. They stay till around 6.30am and then they are blessed before they leave for their school.

On any morn, we can have 40-60 people coming to pray. Some morns see even more.
Lord, we hunger for more of You.

Deeper in Love

Deeper In Love Lyrics – Don Moen

Verse 1
There is a longing
only You can fill
A raging tempest
only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
to know You as I’m known
Drink from the river
that flows before Your throne

Chorus
Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I’ve ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Verse 2
Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
to the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
a hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
forever satisfied

What If

We had gone for a bit of shopping. The deals were good.

Then we left to go. Or at least we tried to go.

The car park was jammed.

There were cars behind us.
Cars in front of us.
It would appear that cars were all converging from at least 5 different directions.

To one outlet.

What if there was a fire....?

Anyway it was a good time to pray. I was glad to be stuck in the car (for almost an hour) with my two best friends - my Lord and my Hubby!

Cheating Death

"Get rid of it"

"You'll die otherwise"

"Both of you will die"

"Save your wife"

"Don't be so stubborn"

And so the voices went on.

But the couple stood firm. And they kept the pregnancy despite the rising chorus of experts telling them to do otherwise.

Then God used my Hubby and I to visit. At that time, we were unclear about what the condition was. But somehow, we felt led to pray for God to be merciful, to bring about the safe delivery of a healthy baby and that both mother and baby would be safe.

That was four years ago.

We are so glad that the little one is fine.
And here is the answer to prayer, courtesy of her parents. Isn't she gorgeous?

This Saying is True

September 16th

It was Malaysia Day - the day the Malaysia was officially formed. Culminating three days of intensive prayer with national Christian leaders, following forty days of prayer and fasting held nationwide, we celebrated.

Youths paraded, danced, played flags and pompoms... did prophetic acts... and much more.
The crowd was not overwhelming, but good nonetheless.
I took part playing the shofar. My daughter was playing the flags. More in The Hinge.

The Audacity!

The church has been doing a series on prayer lately. We are spending 40 days in prayer and fasting for our land so this series is appropriate.

Yesterday we heard about the overnight and all night prayer.

It had been on my mind to have a personal one. So it seemed timely that I heard this message.

I decided to put it into practice.

Overnight or extended night prayers are not new to me. I have been part of quite a few, often coming away with a sense of not just we have done in the spiritual, but what God has done in my own life. The lessons learned, the passions stirred, the intimacy achieved.... there is no substitute.

Last night, however, was different. It was a personal one. No one else. Just me, my guitar, the Bible, a journal, and my laptop (in case I wanted music). Just meeting with the King of kings.

What audacity! To want to have an audience with the King of Glory! The One Who not only made heaven and earth, but the One Who is holy, powerful and worthy of all praise!

And yet, that is what I sought.

Because I ought.

We ought.

I need to.

So I did.

My fingers had long lost the callouses from years of not picking up the guitar. But I strummed away for over an hour as one song after another leapt out at me from the pages of the old song book. Amazingly, other songs of worship and adoration, confession and profession, came to mind too. And even more amazingly, I didn't need to refer to the songbook - somehow the chords came. It was definitely not me - it was the Holy Spirit's assistance.

Then He laid things upon my heart. First about myself, and then about others.

Four hours went by fast.

At the end, I felt more refreshed than when I had started. How could I not be, sitting in His presence, communing with the Almighty? It was such a privilege. So tender, and yet so awesome. He is, after all, a holy God.

I still feel good today after three and a half hours of sleep.

I think I will have another session - this time, an all night one.

A Well or a Whale

Today I was part of a triplet to pray for one another.

One lady prayed for me.

I nodded my head as she went on a well with lots of water. I was happy when she said she saw the water overflowing, even shooting up, spilling over.

"Deep," she said.

"Nice," I thought.

The other lady kept enthusiastically agreeing in prayer.

Wow.

Then at the end, as we chatted, it suddenly dawned on the third lady that she was nodding her head to the word WHALE... and the other was praying about the word WELL....

So what does one do with a situation like this? I have never encountered this before~

Preach It

We had intentional discipleship training again.

Part of the training includes personal time where we seek the Scriptures individually and then share later in our small group.

This time, we were given specific instructions on the way in which we should approach the Word of God.

As I did so in obedience, I was struck by the content - so close to what God had placed on my heart to share tonight! What's more, the context of the verse goes on to say "Preach the Word" That phrase seemed to leap out at me!

So tonight I will PREACH IT. Please pray for and with me? This message seems to be vastly different from the rest....

Metamorphosis

I am preaching this weekend at a youth meeting. The word the Lord gave me was metamorphosis. I have not much of an idea how the meeting will go. But I do believe I have heard the Lord right.

This is what I saw yesterday -A most apt illustration for the talk.

Please do pray for me that He would find me a good and right conduit. I'll let you know how it goes....

"Please Pray for Me..."

We were doing Intentional Discipleship Training.

As we sat down to do our own reading, I read about the woman who pleaded with Jesus to cast out a demon from her daughter. Mark 7:29.

It struck me that this woman was not paying lip service when she said that Jesus could heal her daughter. Many people who are desperate would ask for help from all sorts of sources. But we might not mean what we say. We just want the right outcome.

How do I know she was not merely paying lip service when she said so?

Because when Jesus told her that her daughter would be healed, He didn't go with her to her house to see her daughter. He merely said it.

And she left to go home.

To find her daughter healed, just as He said.

Wow.

It struck me. How much do I pay lip service?

Especially when praying for people. When someone is in need and I am asked to pray for him/her. The requests come via emails, via phone calls, via sms-es. It is hard to say anything but Yes I will pray. But DO I?

"Let your yes be a yes, and your no be a no" Matt 5:37