A Year Later

How interesting that a year later, after posting about rejection and acceptance, I am now in this place where I have to deal with it again. 

This time it is because of doing what I thought was right. And finding out later how it turns out not the way I would have envisaged or liked. Trust seems to be lost, the relationship is in danger of being entirely broken. There is a strong sense of being rejected, of not good enough, of having made wrong decisions which need to be paid for. 

It is tempting to make apologies without meaning them. It is a self-preservation instinct to give reasons without being sorry for the betrayal of trust or the feelings hurt. It is always on the tip of the tongue to blame someone else. After all, I am a victim too, I reason to myself. I am only doing what I am supposed to do. 

And yet, I know now, that this is not good enough. Feelings of being wronged cant be unchanged. Facts dont dictate feelings. Logic doesnt rule sentiment. 

So after apologising,
all I can do is to pray, 

and wait

And trust that ALL things will work out for good, for those who love You, and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.") And that You always do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can think or imagine.