Purposefully Being Private

Restricted movement declared for two weeks. 

God speaks to us in all circumstances

Dream On....

So the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat played in the city. What an amazing wonderful time.  

For seven-eight months they have been rehearsing. Last night was the finale. So many lessons from this amazing but true story!

Only God, and He alone, can deposit hope in hopelessness situations, bring about redemption, and an amazing beyond-all-imagination future. The promise that

biblia.com

“.....all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” 

holds true even today. We can't see the end from the beginning - only He can. We can't imagine what lies beyond the horizon - but He's seen it. We can foresee what is around the corner - He already knows.

Thankful!

A Year Later

How interesting that a year later, after posting about rejection and acceptance, I am now in this place where I have to deal with it again. 

This time it is because of doing what I thought was right. And finding out later how it turns out not the way I would have envisaged or liked. Trust seems to be lost, the relationship is in danger of being entirely broken. There is a strong sense of being rejected, of not good enough, of having made wrong decisions which need to be paid for. 

It is tempting to make apologies without meaning them. It is a self-preservation instinct to give reasons without being sorry for the betrayal of trust or the feelings hurt. It is always on the tip of the tongue to blame someone else. After all, I am a victim too, I reason to myself. I am only doing what I am supposed to do. 

And yet, I know now, that this is not good enough. Feelings of being wronged cant be unchanged. Facts dont dictate feelings. Logic doesnt rule sentiment. 

So after apologising,
all I can do is to pray, 

and wait

And trust that ALL things will work out for good, for those who love You, and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.") And that You always do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can think or imagine. 

Unconditional - Then and Now

Some years ago, at our first connect group meeting, we were given paper plates. One one side, we were asked to one thing we were before we knew Jesus. It was easy for me to write. I always felt this way as a child, and well into my teenage and young adult years.....

I had always felt that others were preferred instead of me. The sense of rejection was high and stayed with me even when I accomplished many things, and had much praise. When others were promoted, I took it personally that I wasnt. When others were blessed, I found it hard to rejoice for them. This lie of the enemy, that I was of little worth, that I was never good enoughm influenced many of my relationships and affected many of the things I did. My identity in Christ was stolen... 

That is, until the truth of what Christ has done for me, and how much He loves me began to dawn in me. My Hubby, with his patient and unconditional love, epitomised God's agape love for me. Who else would die for me even when I was so very unworthy? Thankfulness continues to flow as this truth sets me free....  

Indeed, that night, at the group meeting, when asked to write on the reverse of the plate what Jesus had done for me, I could thankfully and truthfully scribe this!

What joy when I wrote those two words down! I felt another level of freedom as I pressed the crayon down harder. Such love! Such liberty!

Ephesians 2:10 New Living Translation (NLT)

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

And that truth applies till today. Praise God! 

Breaking my Heart

A song has been reverberating in me.

Or rather, a phrase "Break my heart for what breaks Yours...."

Then I was given a list. It was entitled "Am I a Proud or Broken Person?"

There were checklists about attitudes. Attitudes to self, others, etc.

I found myself checking myself on the list.

And left wanting.

Take for instance

ATTITUDE about THEMSELVES

PROUD PEOPLE feel confident in how much they know
BROKEN PEOPLE are humbled by how very much they have to learn

PROUD PEOPLE are self-conscious; they worry about what others think of them
BROKEN PEOPLE are not preoccupied with what others think of them.

PROUD PEOPLE are concerned about appearing respectable; they are driven to protect their image and reputation.
BROKEN PEOPLE are concerned with being real; they care less about what others think than about what God knows – they are willing to die to their own reputation

PROUD PEOPLE can’t bear to fail or for anyone to think they are less than perfect. This can drive them to extremes – workaholic tendencies, perfectionism, and the tendency to drive to drive others or to place unrealistic expectations on themselves or others.
BROKEN PEOPLE can recognize and live within God-given limitations

So yes, I try to sing the next line, "Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause"

Chest Pain

It's a good way to get a reality check.

How you are doing relationally.

How you fare about heaven and hell.

How you stand about judgment day.

How you think about being mentally alert but physically inert.

How you would cope with a fast going or a slow one.

How you view spiritual and/or physical healing.

Yes, chest pains can be good.

Warms the Heart

Had lunch earlier with someone I knew from long time ago. He has certainly grown. Not just in size and age, but also in wisdom and stature. I listened to him as he espoused his plans, his hopes, his aspirations, and his wisdom for others.

It made me very thankful to the Lord that He led me to invest in people's lives in that season of my life. I dont look for it, but when it comes, it is heart warming indeed.

Now I wonder whether this will happen again. Will there be another season like that....

I don't know.

But thank You Lord for that little peek at the past, to look into the present and peer into the future.

Wisdom and Attitude

In line with my last post, here's another gem!

The Woodcutter's Wisdom
by Max Lucado

Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.

People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.

One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”

The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”

The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”

The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”

The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?

“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”

“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.

“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”

The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.

“You were right, old man,” they wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgment on life’s storms until we know the whole story.

I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Mt. 6:34)

He should know. He is the Author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.